This morning, we wrote 5 basic sentences about our holidays. We looked at a range of different connectives that will improve our writing. A connective is a word that joins sentences, e.g. such as, in spite of, whilst, however etc. Next we spent time improving our 5 basic sentences by using connectives. Do you use connectives in your writing, if so which ones?
Holidays
On the first week of the holidays we went to Australia.We then went to Mooloolaba where we went to the fish markets until it started to rain.We then went paddle boarding in Noosa despite there being no waves.In addition to that we decided to hire a boat and take it around the river front. Whilst we were there went to the State Of Origin although we had no idea how to get there.
Hi Emma
ReplyDeleteI like the connectives you used in your sentences. You have to fix your blurb because you wrote be instead of by, and it doesn't make sense. What was your favorite part of staying is Australia?
Khali
Yr 6
Drummond primary School
Hi Khali,
DeleteI'll fix up that spelling mistake. One of my favorite parts was probably swimming in Noosa.
Emma
RM4
Drummond
Howdy Emma
ReplyDeleteI really like your use of connectives but there's a part in it that doesn't quite make sense. What was the favorite thing you did in Australia?
Charlotte
Year 8
Drummond Primary School
Hi Charlotte,
DeleteThanks for your feedback. One of my favorite parts about Australia was The State Of Origin Game.
Emma
RM4
Drummond
Hello Emma,
ReplyDeleteSounds Like you’ve had a good holiday. What’s mooloolaba? Did you have a good holiday? What was your favorite part of the holiday?
Danni
Room 4
Drummond primary school
Hi Danni,
DeleteThanks for your comment! Mooloolaba is a place in Australia, and yes I did have a good holiday.
Emma
RM4
Drummond
Fantastic work Emma, we will have to share this with all of our school , nice effort ! Proud of you
ReplyDeleteThe 100 word challenge that is
ReplyDeleteHello Emma,
ReplyDeleteAwesome writing! You used the connectives really well! Did you have lots of fun while you were in Australia?
Great blog post!
Prudence,
Yaldhurst Model School
Hello Prudence,
DeleteThanks for you feedback and comments on my writing! I did have heaps of fun in Australia.
Emma
Drummond Primary School
Hi emma its Saxon from yaldhurst model school and I really like your blog post about your holiday I think it is real cool.
ReplyDeleteHi Emma, My name is Abby and I go to Yaldhurst Model School. Your blog post sounds like you had a good holiday but you should make another blog post and add to that part of your story.
ReplyDeleteHi Emma
ReplyDeleteMy name is Maddison I am a year 5 student at Yaldhurst Model School
I loved your blog post was it fun? Mooloolaba sounds fun is that the first time you've been there or have you been there before?
Maybe next time do some photos of Mooloolaba because it sound cool
From Maddison
(oh and good job )
Hi Maddison,
DeleteYes my holiday was very fun, I have been to Mooloolaba before when I was little. Thanks for your feedback!
Emma
Drummond
top of the morning to you
Deletehi Emma
What a good peace of writing I hope you had fun and i like how you have told me were you went and what you did.
From Ashley Nicholson
Oamaru Intermediate School
Room 6